


Let me out of this dream

by kittys_devil



Series: Let me out of this dream [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Dreams, F/M, M/M, Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-22
Updated: 2011-07-20
Packaged: 2017-11-05 20:32:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 12,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/410732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittys_devil/pseuds/kittys_devil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead<br/></i>
</p><p>Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead

Tommy is up on stage playing his heart out.Passion for the music that bleeds out of him through his bass.But it’s not Adam that he is playing for, its Manson. Fucking Manson.Little Tommy Joe is playing fucking bass for Manson.And it’s so right where he should be, like he has been doing this his entire life. 

And it’s real and it’s amazing and then his fucking alarm goes off.

“Fucker.”

Except Tommy is not really awake.He is not really sure where he is.But he is watching himself dance, well more like strip, for someone.He runs his hand through his hair and it’s not his. Fuck. He is Adam. 

Adam moans as Tommy comes closer, quivering at the sight of him.Tommy is in full on drag.Black dress that hugs him in all the right places, falling mid-thigh.Boots that go up to his thigh, buckles along the side like tracks to his groin.His blonde hair just perfect, face done up like he has never seen it before. 

And the Tommy in the dream slowly, ever so slowly shimmers out of the dress.Standing there is the boots and a fucking black silk thong.Adam runs his palm over his cock, wanting to free it from the tight fabric.But he is waiting for the rest of the show. 

The Tommy that is watching this feels his cock twitching, waiting for more as he is pulled from sleep and laying in his bed, stroking his cock about to come. 

~ ~ ~ ~

The crowd has been amazing. Beyond amazing.It’s the final song and he does not want this night to ever end.A once in a life time chance happening that he got to be on stage singing with Madonna all fucking night.Adam hears the first few notes of _Express Yourself_ and her voice belting out the first line. 

And it’s real and it’s amazing and his fucking alarm goes off. 

“Shit.”

Except Adam is not really awake.He is on his stage, the chords of Fever starting. But he is not on the stairs. He is standing there, bass in his hands,lusting and needing.Fuck. He is Tommy. Quivering and waiting as Adam walks down the stairs.Needing the kiss, wanting so much more. Adam grabs his arms, pulling him in tighter, tongues colliding, the whole thing over before he began. 

Tommy left needing more, wanting more, always more. Jumping and quivering at every touch. Never getting the courage to do more, to demand what he really wants.

And the show goes on, and the lust he has for Adam pouring out through his fingers as he plays his bass. 

The Adam that is watching keeps hoping the Tommy in this dream will tell the dumb fuck on stage how he really feels. He just wants to scream out when he is pulled out of sleep by the sound of someone beating on his door. 

~ ~ ~ ~

Adam barely has the door open when Tommy is pushing through. 

“Really Adam? Fuck, just fuck. What kind of voodoo shit you pull on me? Just fucking fuck. And that’s your wildest dreams? Me in a fucking dress and boots just for you?” Tommy has to stop to breath, because saying this all out loud to his face is just making his cock harder. “Really? We can’t just start with something mild? NO, have to jump right into you dressing me up like a fucking doll and stripping for you? Really Lambert? What the fuck?”

Tommy finally looks up; the shock in Adam’s eyes is so piercing.

“Oh fuck, you didn’t have anything to do with this did you?”

“No, Tommy but I had the same thing.” Adam moves closer to Tommy, lifting his chin, making him look into his eyes. “Fever Tommy. All of it, I had no idea.”

“So now we both know. Where do we go from here?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead  
> _
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

Fuck him. Just fuck him. I know he had something to do with this. I don’t feel that way. Yes I love what we do on stage. But, no I don’t feel that way about him.

And yet, here I am, in the middle of the night thinking about him and unable to sleep.I have Kayla sleeping next to me, and all I really want to do is join her. That beautiful peacefulness flowing over her. I love my girlfriend, I really do. 

Finally I feel the medicine start to kick in. Lying down, holding Kayla close hoping last night was just a fluke. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

It’s a new club that everyone has been talking about. I figure what the fuck, I’ll go check it out.Who knows, I’m sure there will be some pretty boys there.And hell, a little making out while the twinks are pole dancing is always fun. 

The whole club is all about this new dancer.He just started last week and everyone is waiting for him.He is so pretty, so gorgeous they all keep saying. 

I’ve found a few petty boys, gotten some drinks out of the deal and really am feeling pretty good.Sitting at a table with the cute brown haired boy, listening to him babble on about something that really I could care less about.But his lips, those are lips I could kiss. 

The music starts, and I turn to see the dancer they are all going on about. Oh, great just another blonde twink on stage.I don’t see the big deal.Until the light comes on and my mouth just drops open. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

Backstage is one of my favorite places to be.Getting ready for tonight’s show.I am going to look amazing.The outfit I found today just fucking rocks.The boots that go half way up my thighs, leather and tight.Fishnets underneath and the black leather skirt that barley covers my ass.The tight red long sleeve shirt, just the one button in the middle of my chest.Showing off my belly and my chest to all of the boys out there.The ruffles along the edges just rock.

I hear the music start to play, I walk up on stage and grab onto the pole. Just as I swing my leg over it I notice the spotlight in audience.

Adam.

I dance for him, sliding up and down the pole. Teasing him with my tongue. Watching him squirm from his seat. Wanting to touch me, wanting to be grinding behind me as I thrust back and forth. 

I slide down to my knees, holding onto the pole as I thrust my head back.One final thrust as the song ends and I see him melting into his chair, knuckles gone white from the grip he has on the arms of the chair.

The moan that crosses my lips as I see this pulls me towards him.We are face to face when I realize I am in his dream again. 

I look down at the mess that is Adam. 

“Fuck you Lambert. Stay out of my head.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Tommy is finally sleeping. I can’t figure out why he is not sleeping all the sudden.He has never had this trouble before.He won’t tell me what is bothering him.Blows it off, “Tis nothing baby girl.” Every time I ask him. 

He starts moving around more, panting.

Then I hear it. He is moaning out Adam’s name.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead  
> _
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

I come home and Tommy is sleeping. Sprawled out all over the bed like he has been in a boxing match with the blankets.I am relieved that he is already sleeping.At least tonight will not be a late night for him. I just wish I knew what was going on in my boy friend’s head. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

Adam knows where he is immediately.He is in the forest surrounded by animals.There are blue birds flying around his head.He is in the middle of sleeping beauty and he is the beauty.Adam is dressed in all white, barefoot with his black toes peeking out.

He starts singing Once Upon a Dream, dancing with the owl and the other animals.Twirling the red coat around in his arms until he hears someone singing behind him.

Adam turns to see Tommy, he's prince that just rode in on his horse to save him.The prince is dancing with him as he sings along.Adam pulls away, “But Tommy you said you were straight.”

“Adam you just said it, once upon a dream.”Tommy leans towards Adam.

Adam is then pulled out of dream and into Tommy’s.

~ ~ ~ ~

Kayla is awoken by singing.Soft, quite gentle singing.She sits up trying to figure out where it is coming from.Becoming more aware of her surroundings she can hear the gentle voice coming from Tommy.He is singing Once Upon A Dream.He stops and she hears him say “Adam, you just said it, once upon a dream.”

Kayla can feel the tear slide down her cheek as turns over to go back to sleep. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

It’s dark and cold and he just wants to go home. But he can’t because if he goes home it will find him. So he is here, in the middle of the night hiding from the vampire that is stalking him. 

He moves, thinking it is safe, but he can feel it near.The vampire is watching him, waiting for him to run. As soon as Tommy starts to run it’s fair game. It’s a hunt and Tommy is the pray.Tommy can hear the hissing sounds; feel the hairs on his neck stand up. 

He tries to get away from that feeling.He gets some space between him and the vampire, but it is only for a moment. And he is back, stalking Tommy waiting again for him to make the sudden movement for this to become a game. 

And then he is stuck, a wrong turn down the alley and the vampire has him cornered.Stalking closer, Tommy has nowhere to go.If he runs, it’s over, if he stays, it’s over. Either way he is just fucked. 

The vampire is getting closer, slowly moving to where Tommy is. Tommy feels someone behind him turns in a panic and sees Adam. Just as the vampire lunges forward Adam stakes him.The vampire falls to the ground as Tommy turns around, pushing Adam against the wall. 

“Fuck Lambert again? I can take care of my own fucking self, especially in my fucking dream. Keep this I’m going to save the world shit for someone else.”

Tommy stalks off leaving Adam with his mouth open, wanting to know where the prince he was just dancing with went to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. " ~Richard Mead_
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

He is pulling away from everything we know together.He is even starting to pull away from his friends. I can’t remember the last time I saw any of them here or he went out for boy’s night. Tommy has lost the sparkle in his eyes. I can’t get him to talk to me.It’s still the same thing every time I ask.“Tis nothing Kayla” before he puts his headphones back in to tune out the world. 

It’s another one of those days.He is zoning out on the porch when my phone rings.

“Adam? Everything ok?”

“Hi Kayla. Yes, everything is ok. I just um need to talk to Tommy and he won’t um answer his phone.”

I walk over to the porch door where Tommy is just staring out at the yard. 

“Umm Tommy, Adam is on my phone for you.”

He puts his hand out for the phone while muttering “sneaky fucker” under his breath. 

I am barely back in the kitchen when I hear “Fucking stay away from me Lambert.And leave my fucking head alone.”

There is a thud as he throws my phone across the porch.

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy's Dream _

The blanket laid out, picnic basket sitting on the corner just how I left it.I grab Kayla’s hand in mine, pulling her closer as I thread out fingers together.She is giggling she is so happy.“Oh Tommy this is just perfect!”

I pull her into a kiss.“All for you babe, I love you.”

We sit in the sun taking in everything around us.Enjoying the food, enjoying the closeness as we hear the water quietly lapping in the background.Just enjoying us.It’s been so long since it has been just us. So much of everyone around with the tour, not enough of just us. 

I need her close, I need to hold onto her, feel her, cling to her like my life depends on it. But something is ripping her away. 

I try to pull her closer and Kayla is gone.All I can hear is that song.The song he has sung to me hundreds of times on stage. My heart leaps hearing him sing those words to me again. 

I see him standing along the edge of the trees. Seeing him there I realize he is in my dreams again.

“Fuck you Lambert, just fuck you.”

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

The fans just can’t wait.They need more, demand more, can’t wait for more.I love my fans, they passion for what I do.So Lane plans a couple of shows.Nothing big, not the whole set but enough to make the fans ecstatic.

It seems like forever sine we have done this, but it’s really only been 3 months.It feels so good at practice. Stretching my voice like it has not been stretched in a while. 

I’m getting giddy as I put on the costume that I start the show with.Amazing hair and makeup to go with it of course. 

I get through the opening with no problems.Ring of Fire ends and I wait for that beat. The one that hits me straight in the heart every time I hear it. 

The beat starts and I take a step down, into an open field. The melody is still playing in my head. I look up and see Tommy sitting alone on a blanket.I belt out the question that I ask him every night before we kiss.  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. " ~Richard Mead_
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

I just want to be alone. They won’t leave me alone.Adam has finally given up calling me, but he is still texting me, trying to force a response out of me on Twitter. Kayla is never ending.Always hovering, that look on her face like she needs to fix me, fix something. 

I head off to bed.I just hope tonight I get to be alone in my head tonight.He has not been in my dreams for almost a week now. But every night I keep waiting, sure he will return. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

It’s just perfect.The new album, the new single debut and we are showing it all to the world on Ellen.How I love her!

The song sounded amazing at rehearsal last night, but live it comes off even better.I can’t help the smile that radiates across my face.And Ellen is in awe.

Monte, Tommy and Isaac are so pumped to be doing this.And they all look great, but Tommy just looks amazing.Sutan has me glammed up to the nines as I wait for Ellen to call me out to sit and chat. I know she is going to ask all the normal questions. Yet when it’s with her, it feels more like talking with a friend.I love her excitement for everything that I do!

She calls me on to the stage to talk.Just as I start to step up the stairs everything changes. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

Kayla and I are spending the weekend at the lake. It’s just perfect. 

I had this grand idea this morning to go fishing.Not that I have any idea what I am doing, neither does Kayla.But, like the stuff is here and we might as well try it.And really I just want to take Kayla away on the boat. 

Our fingers laced together as she walks in my arms down to the lake.She is laughing with joy as I tell her my idea. 

“Really Tommy?Fishing?”

“Sure why not?It’s all here, might as well use it.”

“Do you have any idea what you are doing?”

“Not really, but it will be fun babe!”

I pull her into a kiss. 

I climb onto the boat first.I turn, grabbing her hand to help her keep her balance against the choppy water hitting the boat. 

I turn to pull her close to me, but I have to look up. It’s not Kayla in the boat. 

“Adam…”

“Please let me stay Tommy.”

He pulls me close, wrapping his arms around me.He is leaning into me as I reach up to him.The quick breaths coming from both of us.Adam reaches down pulling my chin up.Looking into my eyes he leans closer.I can’t help the moan that slips out. 

He doesn’t kiss me. He leans his forehead down against mine, just holding us there.I feel the passion flowing between us. 

A single tear slips down my cheek as it comes crashing together. 

It comes out as a whisper, barely loud enough for him to hear. “Fuck Lambert, I told you to stay out of my head.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Tommy’s dreams are so much more animated.I wish he would tell me why. I lay here, watching and listening to him while he sleeps.It was the laughing that woke me up, but something has changed. His face is much more serious. 

I hear him mumble something about fishing.His face is full of joy and happiness. 

When his face changed, looking so serious I hear him whisper Adam’s name. 

I hear his breath quicken, his face showing lust I have not seen in a while.I get up to go sleep on the couch when I hear the moan cross his lips. 

I glance back before shutting to door.He is still sleeping as the tears run down his face. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. " ~Richard Mead_
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

I am crying. I wake up sobbing.Sweat sticking to my shirt, short of breath and crying.And Kayla is gone. 

Fucking Lambert needs to stay out of my fucking head.

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep fighting with him in my fucking head. And he won’t stay away from me. No matter how much I push him away he is a persistent fucker.

Just fucking fuck. He has my mind so fucked up that it thinks I NEED him in my fucking dreams.No matter what, he shows up. I am not pulling his ass to me. 

FUCK. I am. How the fuck? I can’t do this. I can’t have him in my head like this. Fuck. He needs to fucking fix this. 

“AHHHH JUST FUCK IT!”

~ ~ ~ ~

I wake up again when I hear Tommy yelling in the bedroom.I don’t know who he is yelling at, but he is pissed. He sounds like he is getting dressed, but at this time of night?

He walks into the living room. “Tommy where are you going? It’s 3 am!”

“I’ll be back soon babe.” 

He runs out the door before I can say any more. 

~ ~ ~ ~

Fuck. It’s raining.Well at this point I really don’t care.I just need to get to Adam. He had to stop this shit. 

I can’t have this fucking mind fuck game he is playing. He needs to stop. 

I have to make him stop. 

I just need….

~ ~ ~ ~

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” 

Who the fuck is beating on my door at 3 am?If this is Tommy again I will lose my mind. 

~ ~ ~ ~

I’m fucking dripping wet. Fucking rain. I still have tears, but they are not as bad as when I woke up. I don’t even remember driving here. But here I am waiting for him to get to the door.

I just need him to stop…

~ ~ ~ ~

“Tommy! What the fuck are you doing here? You think you can just stop by whenever you fucking want to?Weeks Tommy it has been fucking weeks. Last time I could even get you on a fucking phone you threw it across the room. You think I didn’t hear that? You are being a fucker. 

You won’t talk to me, you won’t even fucking respond to a text. Everyone, Tommy, I have fucking everyone trying to get through to you. But no you are in this I don’t give a fuck about what I fuck up mode.”

Tommy cries out as he falls to the ground. It’s the first time I really looked at him. He is soaking wet, tears in his swollen and red puffy eyes. 

“Oh my god, baby are you ok?Tommy I am sorry. Please talk to me.”

I almost have to carry him in the house. He is so out of it. His eyes in a faraway place. I know where he is going. To that dream land, where even if he hates me he still talks to me. I can’t let him go there. I need him to talk to me here, now. 

“Tommy, baby, please don’t go there. I need you here. You need to talk to me.”

As much as I want to go with him, together in our dreams I can’t.

“Tommy it’s ok. Just talk to me. What is wrong?”

His eyes focus again, fear shooting through them. 

“Fuck. Adam. I’m sorry. I have to go.”

He is out the door before I can even think about stopping him.

~ ~ ~ ~

I need her. I just need to feel her. I walk in the house and Kayla is in the bed. I peel off my dripping wet clothes as I make my way to the bed.Climbing on top of her, taking her mouth into mine, grinding into her until she opens up for me.

It’s raw and real and overwhelming. 

After it all I collapse, feeling the tears pooling at the corners of my eyes. 

~ ~ ~ ~

“Tommy Joe come here, please.”

“What now babe?”

“You won’t talk to me. I have no idea what went on last night, but it scared the shit out of me. You need to talk to someone. I don’t know what is up with you and Adam, but fuck he is your best friend. Call him, talk with him.”

“Fuck Lambert. I am not talking to him about shit.”

“Then call Dave, just please baby I love you. I am worried about you. You need to deal with whatever is going on in your head.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Dave meets me for drinks that night. Well I drink, and he sips. I have lost count. I am at that point where I am very drunk and very chatty, but still aware of most of what is going on. 

I just have no filter. So I just start talking like the words coming out of my mouth are what I need to breath.

“You know Dave, there are lots of guys I find good looking. Always have. But that doesn’t mean anything does it? I mean just because they are good looking doesn’t mean I am falling for them?”

Dave just nods as I keep going.

“I mean it was all for the fans. The kisses and the flirting and the stage play. But it got to be more. Well it was to me. But no, I can’t think of Adam like that. And Kayla. I love Kayla. But it was more and more and I just can’t deal with all this. And now, he is in my dreams. It’s like this fucked up weird dream sharing thing. And I can pull him into my dreams. And I know he is doing something. I know how he feels about me. But fuck I can’t deal with all this. This was not supposed to happen. When I set off for a world tour I was not planning on all this. It was all for the fans, man.All for the fans…”

By the time Dave puts me in a cab I am beyond drunk. 

I don’t even know where Kayla is. I crawl into bed, phone in hand.I look down and see his name highlighted in my contact list. “Fuck you Lambert. Just stop. Stay out of my head. I need you…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead  
> _
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

_ Tommy’s dream _

Adam pulls up in his fancy ass car, looking so sure of himself.The sun shining down just makes the smile he has even brighter. 

“Let’s go Glitter Baby!”

I hop in the car, still not sure where we are going.All I know is he said road trip and I figured why not. 

I buckle my seat belt, pull out my sunglasses and lean back for the ride.I glance over at him as he giggles. 

“See baby, just like old times.”

He reaches over, patting my leg.It all clicks together.

“Fuck you Lambert. Let me out of this.”

He laughs. He fucking laughs.“Baby, you are the one that pulled me here. I was diving into an amazing pool at a 5 star hotel. So you are not going anywhere until you wake up. So for now, sit back and enjoy the ride.”

Fuck no headphones.

Fuck he is putting in show tunes. 

Fuck get me out of here!

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

It’s the perfect vacation.Five star hotel, spending the days doing nothing. I have hardly moved from the chair by the pool all morning.

Standing up to stretch I figure it’s a good time to take a dip in the pool.Walking over I dive in…

When I open my eyes I am driving my Mustang with Tommy next to me.I reach over, patting his leg not sure where are going…

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

I don’t walk to talk to him. He keeps looking over at me as I stare out the window.Fuck him for keeping me here like a fucking hostage.Fuck all the alcohol I drank. I’m not waking up anytime soon.

“At some point you have to talk with me baby.”

It comes out more of a hiss. “I will listen to you sing. Fuck I will listen to you talk. But I don’t have to say anything and I sure as fuck don’t have to be happy about being stuck here.”

“Fine, then listen.This is you not me doing this.You are pulling me into your dreams as you push me away in life.Face the truth baby.It will do us both a lot of good.”

“Fuck you Lambert.”

“Quit being a fucking brat. You know I’m right. You miss me. Just like I miss you.”

“Do not.”

He quits talking.Singing along with the show tunes that area filling his car.

Ok so maybe I have missed that voice.And yeah, maybe I do miss being on tour with him. And well I don’t want to admit to him, but I do miss Adam. But I just can’t…

I don’t know how long I am lost in my thoughts. I didn't mean to say it, it just slips out.

“Kayla.”

“What about Kayla Tommy?”

“I can’t hurt Kayla.”

“I know baby.”

We get to the beach and he parks the car.He just sits back, watching me as I am lost in my own world. 

I turn my head to look at him. 

“You know I am right Tommy.”

“Fuck you Adam.”

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

“Fuck you Adam.”

I have never been so happy to hear my name. It’s a start. 

“You, baby, are going to have fun today! Now let’s go!”

I jump out of the car, running around to the other side to pull Tommy out with me. "Look! Perfect day we picked! There is a carnival here at the beach!"

I grab his hand, out of habit more than anything else.I was expecting him to pull away.I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face when he doesn’t.

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

I hate him for being right.I do miss him.He reaches to hold my hand and I don’t pull back. I missed the touch too much. 

He drags me around all day.Taking me on some of the craziest rides and eating all types of food. 

It’s getting dark and things are slowing down.

“See glitter baby told you it would be fun!”

I curl up next to him in the car as he drives me home.He is running his fingers through my hair.He laughs when I let the purr slip out. 

“Aww, there is my pretty kitty.I missed you.”

“Fuck you Adam. I know you are still getting into my head.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Tommy wakes me up.He is tossing and turning and fighting with the bed.He is yelling at Adam in his sleep. 

Then he is laughing. And I see the smile creep across his face. 

I am almost asleep when he starts purring. 

The last thing I hear before I am sleeping again is that name. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead  
> _
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

She called and wanted to meet with me.I told her to come over here.It would be safer that way.I know what she wants; well at least I have a pretty good idea.She never said, but I can tell by her voice. 

She walks in all calm and collected.I can see the anger and hurt in her eyes. 

“Hi Kayla!”

“Adam.”

“So, you going to tell me what this is all about?”

“Don’t play games with me Adam.You know.What happened to him?What did you do to him?He doesn’t talk, he doesn’t look at me. He fucking pulls away every time I try to get close to him.”

The hate and anger Kayla feels is just pouring out of her eyes, filling the room.

“You took him away, whirlwind tour around the world.You swept him off his feet and brought him back to me like that! How could you?”

“But Kayla I didn’t…”

She is getting closer and closer to me.

“Fix. Him. Baby. Boy.”

The hate in her voice as she says Tommy’s nickname for me rips at my heart. 

“I don’t care how you do it Adam. But you need to put him back to the way he was.”

She has moved even closer, inches away from my face.I can feel the heat of her breath, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes as she whispers “I need him back.”

She runs out of my house before I can stop her.

I just collapse. It was never supposed to be like this. 

~ ~ ~ ~ 

It’s another night at the bar with Dave. Not because I want to be social.I need escape.I can’t find escape at home.I can’t face Kayla.And I need alcohol, more and more alcohol.

The more I drink the more I babble.I tell him about the road trip, all about the carnival.I tell him about the trip home.Details about it all like the dreams are my life.Not this alcohol induced stupor that I am currently in. 

Dave hears everything. I don’t know how much he really believes.

“I just need him in my dreams.Everything is so simple there. I need to be there with him.I don’t have to worry about hurting her there.I love her. But he…”

Dave shuts the door on the cab sending me home. 

I somehow manage to make it to the couch before I pass out. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s dream _

I am wandering around a castle.Searching for something but I have no idea what.I have walked around all of the grounds.I snuck in through the kitchen.Looking and hunting in each room hoping I will know what it is when I find it. 

No one seems to notice me.I have given up on trying to hide in the shadows as I move around.I walk past the guards and they just keep going like they do not even see me. 

It is a long dark hall way that seems to be calling me.When I get to the door at the end I know where it leads.I head down the stairs to the dungeon. 

I am almost expecting to see dragons or some shit like that hiding down here.Creatures that seem to only exist in fairy tales.All that saving the fair maiden shit that is in those stories. 

I hear someone calling my name.I turn to see Dave running towards me.“Tommy, you need a guilde down here or you will never make it out alive.”

Apparently he is Dave, tour guide of the dungeons. 

It’s more of a mumble “Adam you better not be fucking with my head.”

~ ~ ~ ~

I need to feel Kayla. I need her to see. I need her to feel. I need her to understand. 

I wish I knew how Tommy did this…

_ Adam’s Dream _

I am back in Paris shopping.Taking a quick weekend away from everything. To be lost in my thoughts and do some retail therapy.

I have hit more shops than I can remember.Finding some of the craziest and stylish things.Nothing could be better than this.

I walk into the small bookstore on the corner of the street.Figured I could check it out too.

I go to sit down for a minute and everything changes.

I am in chains in a fucking dungeon. 

“Damn it Tommy I was shopping!”

“Adam?”

Oh fuck, I pulled Kayla into this.She is sitting across the room in similar chains. 

“I’m sorry…”

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Kayla’s dream _

The perfect date.Tommy is taking me on the perfect date.My favorite restaurant and then he promised me a walk on the beach. 

He is so handsome as he walks out of the bedroom. It makes my heart leap. 

We get to dinner and go to sit down; he moves the chair out for me. Just as I sit down everything changes.

I am in chains in a dungeon. All alone in the darkness I start to cry. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

Dave opens the door to a huge room.I step in and see Adam chained to the wall.The shock and sorrow are evident in his eyes even in the darkness of the room. 

I almost don’t hear him. “I’m sorry Tommy…I never meant it to be like this…”

I turn to see Kayla chained to the other wall in tears. 

“Adam?”

“I just…I never meant…I was trying to….I’m sorry…”

Dave pulls me back. I look over him, confused about what is going on. 

“You choose Tommy. You have to choose.”

The floor is collapsing. 

I can only get to one of them.

I can’t choose.

It hurts too much to choose. 

Dave pushes me further into the room.

“You will lose them both if you don’t choose Tommy.”

More of the floor falls. 

I can hear them both screaming. 

I can feel the pain. 

The hopelessness radiating from his blue eyes. 

“Adam….”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead  
> _
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

“Adam…”

I am running to him, without even realizing that I chose.I have to save Adam. I can’t lose him. 

Suddenly they are both gone. Everything is gone. Everything is black and dark and I am screaming. 

My eyes dart around searching for Adam and Kayla.I find that I am awake and passed out on the couch when I came home. 

“Fuck. Just fuck you Adam.”

I climb into bed, noticing that Kayla is sobbing in her sleep. I can feel my heart breaking along with hers.I pull her to me as I let my tears fall before I pass out again. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

It’s nothing.It’s blackness. I keep looking, but I see nothing. 

No dreams of my own.

No dreams with Adam.

I need to feel something. 

At this point, a nightmare would be better than nothing.

~ ~ ~ ~

Ouch…light

Ouch…head

Crying…I hear crying. Kayla is crying….

“Kayla sweetie? What is going on?”

Why is saying her name making my chest hurt? What did I drink last night?

“Fuck Tommy you don’t even remember do you?You are a fucking mess.”

I grab my head between my hands trying to place memories in the blank holes in my brain. It hits me like a knife in my soul. 

“Adam.”

“Fuck. Of course you remember him.It’s all about him isn’t it Tommy?How long has it been going on? He fucking swept you off your feet didn’t he?Took you off around the world, showered you with glitter and you forgot about me.Was it worth it Tommy?Did your baby boy make you feel good?”

The hate in her eyes scares me, yet tears me apart. 

“Kayla what are you talking about?Adam is my best friend. Nothing more.”

“Don’t give me that best friend shit Tommy.You fucking chose him.Over me.”Her voice drops. “You fucking chose him…”

“Kayla it was just a dream.”

“Just a dream? That is just shit.I was there. I felt it all. We were all there.It was more than just a dream Tommy.”

“Kayla…”

“No Tommy. I’m done.I am going to my moms. I just can’t…”

She walks out, grabbing the suitcase by the door. 

I am downing more Jack Daniels when I hear her drive away. More and more until I pass out again. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

I am outside the castle finally. I have been looking for him everywhere. It’s weird. I can’t feel him, can’t feel that pull I have towards him.He just has to be here though, I chose him, and he has to be here. 

I gave up calling for him. I just keep looking.I am scared that I still cannot feel him. It has never been like this before. 

I stumble to the huge tree along the fence.Collapsing into a ball, letting my tears and sobs fill me.Letting everything flow out until I am sleeping. 

~ ~ ~ ~

I call Tommy.I call Kayla.I can’t hurt him.I need to fix this.I just never thought.I would have never pulled her in the dream if I thought it would be even close to that. 

I call Tommy again and again.

I call Kayla again and again. 

Fuck. What have I done? 

It’s getting dark when I get the text from Kayla.

_ He’s all yours baby boy. _

I grab my keys and head over there. 

~ ~ ~ ~

I gave up on knocking.I let myself in with the key Tommy gave me.

I see the note right away. 

_ Adam, _

_ Always the predictable one you know that?I knew you would head over here.I left, went to my mom’s.He drank himself stupid again after I left. I came back to get a few more things and he was passed out again. He is yours now. You can fix him. Just take care of him. I still love him.  _

_ Kayla _

I find him on the bed, sobbing in his sleep.I crawl into bed, pulling him close as I fall asleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

_ Adam’s dream _

Somehow I know where to find him.He is curled up in a ball sobbing, sound asleep under a tree. 

Moaning out Kayla’s name in pain. 

His whole body is shaking. 

I wrap him in my arms. Pulling him as close as I can. 

“Oh, glitter baby I’m so sorry.Let it out. It will be ok.”

Somehow it will all be ok. 

I’m gently pressing kisses onto his head, on his forehead, petting his hair. 

He is still sleeping. I just hold him, let him sob.My dreams imitating real life. 

He starts to wake up. 

“Baby, I’m here.”

“Adam…”

“I’m right here baby. I’ve got ya.”

“Adam…”

“It’s going to be ok baby, somehow…” 

I kiss his forehead, petting his hair, anything to calm him down.

“She’s gone.”

“I know baby.”

“I chose you.”

“I know baby.”

He starts shaking again.The he starts sobbing again. “I can’t do this. I can’t face this.”

“We will get this all figured out. Somehow I will make everything better for you Tommy.I will make you happy again.”

I kiss him gently on the lips, holding him tight as he lets all his emotions out.

~ ~ ~ ~

I’ve been awake for a while now.Just holding Tommy as he sleeps.At some point he stopped crying, but he still shakes some.

He starts to move around some.I pull him close, kissing the top of his head as he wakes up. 

“Mmmmm…Kayla...”

I am not surprised he does not remember. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead  
> _
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

I’ve been awake for a while now.Just holding Tommy as he sleeps.At some point he stopped crying, but he still shakes some.

He starts to move around some.I pull him close, kissing the top of his head as he wakes up. 

“Mmmmm…Kayla...”

I am not surprised he does not remember. 

He snuggles closer. 

Tommy’s eyes pop open and he jumps out of bed.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Where the hell is Kayla? Fuck what have you done? I know I’m not dreaming. You are not supposed to be here. Fuck Adam quit fucking messing with my brain.”

“Baby, sit down, please. Let me explain.”

“Start talking.”

“Kayla left baby. I’m sorry. She sent me a text.Said you were mine now…whatever she meant by that.”

I can see the memories come rushing back to Tommy. 

It’s comes out like a hiss. “Out. Of. My. House. Now.”

~ ~ ~ ~

I collapse, sobbing on to the bed when I get home.What have I done?He is so hurt. And he doesn’t even want to see me. That hurt and hate that was in his voice broke my heart. I love him. I need him. I have to make this better. 

I spend most of the day in bed. No really sleeping, but not really awake. Zoning out to some random show on TV I have never seen. 

I’m not sure when I decided wine would be a good idea, but after I opened the second bottle I am feeling a lot better. 

I am singing everything I say, so off tune no one would believe it.I am dancing, as the music is blasting out of the stereo.

At some point I fall into bed, too drunk to move anymore. Shortly after passing out from the alcohol and emotions of today.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

I crawl out into public only for more Jack.And food. I don’t even remember the last time I ate. 

It’s not long before I am home again.I can’t face the bedroom.I camp out on the couch.Food on one side of me, booze on the other.All set for the day. 

Isaac calls, Monte calls, Dave calls.I ignore them all. 

Someone comes to the door.I never go see who it is. 

I just can’t face anyone. And if it happens to be Adam, I can’t deal with that. Fuck him and his voodoo shit he has going on. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

Everything is bright. And happy. And such a contrast to how I feel right now. Fuck you morning, I am not ready for you yet. 

It’s getting brighter. And I hear voices…who is here at my house.

What the fuck. They are speaking Japanese.

I open my eyes; everything is like that fucking show I had on. 

Someone is coming towards me. Isaac?

“Isaac? Is that you?”

“No, of course it’s not Isaac.This is your dream. Now you need to go find Tommy. He is drunk and lost and stumbling around here somewhere.”

I am at a school.It can’t be that hard to find Tommy.Then I open the door. This place is huge. I am never gonna find Tommy.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

_ Tommy’s Dream _

It’s hazy and weird. Something is not right.I just keep walking.The doors are overwhelming.There are more and more doors.I don’t understand all the doors. 

They are all closed.I just need to get out of here.I try door after door, all of them locked.I finally find one that is unlocked, relived for a moment that I might be getting out of here.I pass through and the door shuts behind me.It’s another hallway. Fuck. The door is locked now, so down the hall I go. There are no doors this time.There are lights along the hall that makes me think of an old mansion with its secret passages. 

I walk and walk almost feeling like I am going in circles yet nothing looks familiar.I have no idea where I am going or where I have been.I come to a door finally. It’s unlocked and I walk through.Once again, it locks behind me.This time I have entered a room hardly big enough for me.I sick to my knees when I realize I am stuck and alone. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

I need to find him.I have been searching for too long.I know he is here.But I can’t feel him. I can’t feel the pull to him like I usually can. 

And he is drunk.So I’m worried.He has to be ok. I can’t let him get hurt. 

So I call his name and listen…nothing. 

Again and again, walking, calling for him and listening. 

“Tommy please answers me…”

*knock*

I almost miss it, the sound is so quiet. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

“Fuck you Adam! Fuck this voodoo shit! I am a fucking yaio! You are dreaming in fucking yaio!”

I know he’s not here, but fuck him still.He is dreaming about me in fucking yaio.I am locked in a room not much bigger than a broom closet and I am a fucking yaio in his fucked up dreams!

At least I am not alone. Maybe he can get me out of this fucking closet. 

I sit down, pulling my knees up to my chest.Letting my head fall back, hitting the wall I hear him calling my name, too far away for him to hear me. 

~ ~ ~ ~ 

_ Adam’s Dream _

It’s been too long. And the longer it takes the more worried I am. Where is he?I should have found him by now. I swear I have looked in every room. 

I feel like I am in tunnels. Wandering around in some hiding maze behind the walls of the school. Like I am unknown to anyone else who might be around here. 

I swear if this was one of those horror movies Tommy likes so much there would be some creepy music playing right now. 

I keep looking and looking, opening every door I come to.Calling out his name listening for the smallest of sounds, hoping to hear Tommy. 

I open a door that leads to a hall, this time with no doors.Just lights lining the hall. 

I call out his name, and finally hear something in response. 

My heart jumps, I can’t get to him fast enough now. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s dream _

I hear him, he is close, finally.Calling out his name as he yells for me.Fuck, I have been in here too long. I just need to be near Adam.Just hearing his voice has calmed me down some. 

I can hear his steps as he gets closer, I just don’t know who the two of us are going to get out of here once he finds me. 

But if I can just get out of this closet it will be better. 

And I will be with Adam. 

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

I walk faster and faster, almost running down the hall.There is no door; I don’t know where he might be.

Then I see it. 

I swing open the door to find Tommy sitting on the floor, his knees curled up to him. 

I grab him, wrapping my arms around him. 

“Baby I was so worried, I have been searching forever. And they said you were drunk and lost and I was afraid you were going to get hurt lost here by yourself. But you are ok and ohh Tommy.”

I pull him close, kissing him gently on the lips, sucking slightly before I release him. 

I press his head into my chest, running my fingers over his hair and holding him tight. 

He looks up at me. “You found me. And you kissed me…”

I just couldn’t help myself; I had to kiss him again.

~ ~ ~ ~

I wake with a start. 

“Fuck you Adam and your voodoo shit. Fucking yaio? What the fuck was that about? And you fucking kissed me!”

One of these I might quit yelling at him when he is not here. 

But for now, it helps me feel better. 

Somehow I need to get him out of my head…   
  
  
  
  
  
The show Adam was "watching" and the dreams are based on this:

  


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead  
> _
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

It’s not enough. The alcohol is not enough to take away the pain, the feelings I don’t want to face. 

The feelings of Kayla, but mostly the feelings of Adam.

Adam.

I can’t deal with it. 

I go find the stash of drugs left over from the last party or the last time the guys were here…either way they help numb the pain. 

I sit there watching some horror movie until I pass out.I’m just glad that I don’t have to deal with the pain.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

_ Tommy’s Dream _

It’s dark. 

I can’t see. It’s not dark…I can’t open my eyes. 

Why won’t my eyes open?

I can’t feel Adam...where is he…I need him here.

Fuck.

How did I get to the point when I need him here….

I feel safer with him here.

I can’t deal with the darkness.

I can’t move. 

I just lay my head back and hope he gets here soon.

~ ~ ~ ~

It’s been a long fucking day. I am exhausted.I feel like I have not slept in weeks. I nodded off in between everything today.Any time I was in the car I was out. But not long enough to sleep. 

The third time Lane had to wake me up she looked like she was ready to kill me.

I just need sleep tonight…

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

I am sitting with Lee and Scarlett holding Riff. They are both laughing as I sing away to Riff.

_ …Never Gonna Stop Gitchi Gitchi Goo means That I Love You _

He is just giggling away making the cutest faces. 

How I love that little boy. 

I go to hand him back to Scarlett when everything changes. 

“Tommy?”

“Where the fuck have you been Adam?”

“Tommy what is wrong with you?”

“I can’t open my eyes. I have been here for hours looking calling for you.” His voice drops, almost a whisper. “I need you.”

My heart jumps a little hearing him say that.

“I’m right here for you baby.”

I sit down next to him, pulling him towards me.I kiss him quickly on the lips before pulling him into my chest. 

“It’s just fucked up Adam. All of it is, my whole fucking life. Fuck even my dreams are fucked up.”

“Tommy, what did you do before you went to sleep?”

“Not sleep Adam…passed out…drugs and booze.”

“Ohh baby…you have to stop.”

“I can’t I want to be here with you. Always need to be here with you. It’s safer here. It does not hurt here.”

~ ~ ~ ~

I wake up sobbing for Tommy.

I just need to fix him, make it better so he is not living in his dreams. 

I just hope I can do it fast enough.

~ ~ ~ ~

Kayla is in my face yelling my name.

“Fuck off. What are you doing here?”

“I was here to get more of my stuff Tommy. How long have you been sleeping?”

“Not long enough. Now get your shit and get the fuck out.”

“What happened to you Tommy?”

I drink more whiskey and roll back over on the couch.

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

Adam is gone again.I am back where I last saw him, but he is going again.

I told him I need him. 

Why does he keep leaving me?

I try pulling him to me but nothing happens. 

I need him. He has to understand how much I need him near me. 

~ ~ ~ ~

I keep nodding off. Every time I sit down I nod off. I can feel Tommy pulling me. 

Fuck it. I can’t sleep all day. 

I need to get him out of this. I need to be awake during the day. 

Fuck…

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

“Fuck it Tommy I can’t come running here every time you need me to. I have shit to do.You are making it very hard to record ya know.”

He curls up into my lap, almost nuzzling against my chest.

“But I need you.”

I grab his face with my hands, kissing him softly.

“I’m here baby, but you have to let me be awake. I know you need me. You need to stay awake some.”

“Hurts.”

I pull him close letting the single tear fall down my cheek. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead  
> _
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

It hurts so much to be awake. I can’t remember the last time I was awake for this long. But here I sit watching a movie unable to focus, unable to move. 

The pain in my chest makes it hard to breath. The nauseous feeling is so overwhelming I have spent way too much time running to the bathroom.

I am trying to focus on the movie.The blood bath that is on the screen should be enough to distract me from everything. But no instead my mind wanders.Kayla is really gone.She was apparently here to get the last of her stuff.The note she left on the table just said get help.She’s the one that left me and yet she’s expecting me to get up like nothing happened. 

Adam keeps calling me.I still won’t talk to him. I hate that all my dreams are about him, with him.But it’s so different in my dreams.It’s not real life. He can protect me from the hurt in my dreams.But here in the real world there is nothing anyone can do for me even Adam.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

“No Tommy Joe I’m not leaving.You are pathetic you know that? Look at you.What happened to the Tommy Joe I know?Have you even left the house this week?”

“Give me back my fucking key Adam. I don’t need you looking after me.I am a fucking adult and can take care of myself.And for your information I did leave the house this week.”

“For what Tommy?More whiskey to drink yourself into oblivion?Have you done anything productive or just drugs and booze?”

“Get the fuck out of my house.”

“Sure Tommy.Just remember that the next time you are sleeping…”

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

I’m on the tour bus hanging out with Isaac and Taylor.Adam is nowhere to be found but that’s not too unusual.Lane probably has him off at some meeting or meeting someone important.It’s usually like this in the afternoon after practice. 

I stand up heading towards his room.He has the best bed for watching movies.And I have free reign of his movie collection. 

“Um Tommy where ya going?” Isaac looks at me with a worried look.

“Going to crash in Adam’s room for a bit, watch a movie.” 

I’m opening the door when I hear him say “That’s not the best idea right now.”

When I push open the door I see why. 

He has some blonde twink withering under him.He is pounding into this fucker as the twink falls apart for him. 

I can’t move. My insides are breaking apart. 

When he looks my way he just smiles at me.

“Wishing it was you aren’t you Tommy?Watching what you are missing out on?”

I fall to my knees as everything goes black around me.

~ ~ ~ ~

I wake up sobbing. I don’t know why my dream self was so nasty to Tommy.He pissed me off today.But that look of hurt and despair is too much. 

I need to get him to quit hiding in these dreams.

I roll over going back to sleep. 

Maybe I can pull him back to me. 

I need to fix this.

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

I am sitting on my couch listening to music when I feel his presence. 

“Tommy. I’m sorry.”

“It hurt Adam.”

“I know baby.I was angry.I didn’t even know I was pulling you into that dream.”

I pull him into my lap holding him close. 

“You know we can’t keep doing this. Hiding here like this.I know it’s safe, but you have to let me in your real life too.I promise it won’t be as hard as you think it is. You need to get better Tommy. And hiding here will not let you do that.”

“But I need you here Adam. You keep me safe.”

“Tommy I will keep you safe no matter where we are.”

“It’s a lot scarier when we are not here.”

I wrap my arms around him kissing his ear lightly.

“I know baby….I know.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. "~Richard Mead  
> _
> 
>  
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

I have a plan. I just hope it works. I need to get Tommy out of this deep slumber he is living in.  
I need him to come back to me in real life, not just my dreams. 

I get up early heading over to Tommy’s house. I am sure he will still be passed out. 

I head to the bedroom first.I take out anything that Kayla has left behind.Boxing up all of the “our” stuff that is still lying around the room after Kayla moved out.I put the new sheets on the bed that are much more Tommyish.

I don’t get much done before I hear him calling my name in his sleep.He is tossing around on the couch when I walk out.

He looks so miserable still.I just wish he would let me help him. 

I sneak out of the house before he wakes up. I am not ready for him to kick me out again. 

~ ~ ~ ~

Danielle said she would help me.But the only way we can really get much done is if Tommy is out of the house.So I called Isaac.

“Isaac I need your help. I don’t care how you do it, but you need to get Tommy out of his house for the day. Fuck let him sleep on your couch all day, I don’t care but somehow I need in there without him.”

“Um sure. But what’s up Adam?”

“I need to rid his apartment of his memories of Kayla.And I need to show him he can trust me.”

“Trust you Adam?”

“Yes…trust me…it a long story and I’ll share it all with you someday, but can you help me out? Kidnap his ass or something, I don’t care.I just need him out of there Saturday.”

Of course Isaac agrees to help.It’s gonna be fun explaining this all to him.

~ ~ ~ ~

I get a text from Isaac today.

_ TommyJoe! You..me...my house…movie marathon Saturday! No is not an option! _

I don’t want to be social. But if I’m at Isaac’s I don’t have to face everything…

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Tommy’s Dream _

It’s the auditions for the second tour.I can’t believe that Adam is making me fucking audition again. I walk in and of course I notice Adam right away. Monte sits next to him. Then I notice that Cam and Isaac are there too.What the fuck? Why am I the only one that has to do this again?

“Umm Tommy Joe right?”

“Adam quit fucking around. Why am I the only one that has to audition again?”

“I don’t know what you mean. You have never auditioned for me before Tommy Joe.”

“But the tour last year. I know all the songs. And the hair pulls and the touches and the kisses on stage…”

“Yes, that was my old bassist.That reminds me. Would you have a problem with all that?”

I can’t move…

He doesn’t even know me.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Adam! I’m just freaking out! He passed out on my couch and now he won’t wake up. He is just babbling on and on about how you don’t know him and something about trust and he is screaming for you.”

“Fuck Isaac I’m sorry. He’s having a nightmare.Just let him sleep.He will sleep it off.I know it’s a little scary. He did the same thing to me the other day.”

I know I will have to fix all this tonight when I am sleeping…

~ ~ ~ ~

_ Adam’s Dream _

I find Tommy curled in a ball under that tree again. Somehow I always know when he is most upset I can find him there. 

I sit down pulling him into my lap.Whispering into his ear “Tommy?”

“You forgot me.”

“No I never forgot you.”

“But I had to audition and you didn’t know me and I wasn’t on the first tour…you forgot me.”

“Baby, I’m right here now, I never forgot you. It was just a bad dream.”

I lift his chin up kissing him softly. 

“I can never forget that.”

“But…”

I lay him down in the grass straddling his hips as I am holding his hands above his head.I lean down kissing him slowly at first.I’m deepening the kiss until I feel him melt under me.I lick at his lips until he grants me the access I’m looking for.I run my fingers down his cheek as I kiss him so deeply, showing the love that he is afraid will hurt him in the real world. 

He finally relaxes completely, accepting everything I have to give him.

~ ~ ~ ~

I wake up the next morning smiling. Until I remember it was all a dream.Tomorrow I go change his apartment. I just hope that’s a start to a change in real life too. 

Until then, I know I have my dreams… 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. " ~Richard Mead_
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

Isaac came and got Tommy just like he promised.Even though the other day was hard for Isaac, he knows I really need his help today keeping Tommy out of his apartment.I get a text from Isaac after only a half an hour bitching about how much of a pain in the ass Tommy was being right now.I know I am going to owe him for this. 

Danielle meets me there and we get right to work.Cleaning the entire place first since it had not been done in some time.The piles of take out bags and whiskey bottles are a little overwhelming to me.I had no idea he was drinking quite this much.But when I found the sleeping pills too I couldn’t control my emotions any more. 

“He only wants to sleep…to see me.”It’s barely a whisper, but Danielle still hears it. 

“What’s that Adam?”

She turns around with concern in her eyes. I have not shared any of this with anyone.But I can’t control the tears running down my face right now.

“He sleeps all the time…so he can see me.We both have these abilities where we can pull each other into our dreams.It’s the perfect world where he will let me love him. But he still won’t talk to me in real life.It’s just so complicated…”

After she gets me calmed down I tell her everything.From the time he came busting into my house in the middle of the night until what happened last night. 

“Adam you have to get him to…”

“Yes, I know.That’s why you are here helping me change this apartment.I need him to see I love him here too.”

~ ~ ~ ~ 

We get the placed cleaned up and go shopping.More sheets, new towels, slip covers to make the couch look new.I found some amazing fluffy pillows for the bed and the couch.I even stopped to get him a few new outfits and that Fender guitar he was babbling on and on about the last time we actually talked.We even got some new plates for the kitchen and some glasses as well. 

When we get back we box up everything they bought as a couple.Monte shows up to haul it off to storage for me.Someday Tommy can decide what he needs to do with it, but for now it is out of his home. 

Danielle and I flop on to the couch exhausted.I know Tommy is going to be back soon.I write a quick note for him before he lock up. 

~ ~ ~ ~

Isaac finally brings me home late. It was not as bad as I thought it would be spending the day with him.He didn’t make me talk about everything and let me sleep.I tried pulling Adam to me but he never came. 

I walk in the door and notice the change right away.I look over at Isaac and just raise my eyebrows.

“Adam.”

“Fucker. He won’t let me be.”

“Tommy just give him a chance. He did this all for you.Get some sleep.”

“Night Isaac…and thanks.”

I shut the door and notice the note he has left on the table.

_ Tommy, _

_ A new look for your home for a new start.  _

_ I’m here for you and you can trust me. I hope we can talk soon…I miss you. _

_ Enjoy your gifts. I expect nothing in return. _

_ I love you Tommy Joe. _

_ I will see you soon in our dreams. _

_ Love _

_ Adam _

I send him a quick text before heading to bed.

~ ~ ~ ~

When I hear the ring tone go off I know that it’s Tommy texting me. 

_ Thanks… _

It’s not a lot, but it’s more than I have gotten in a while.I will take all the baby steps he is willing to take. 

~ ~ ~ ~ 

_ Adam’s Dream  _

Tommy shows up at my house just in time for dinner. I made him tacos only because I know it’s one of his favorites.

He walks in to find me in the kitchen cutting up some tomatoes.He walks up to me pulling my head down and kisses me.

I freeze for a minute from the shock of having him kiss me.When it finally sinks in I open up as he slides his tongue across my lips forgetting whatever I was just working on. 

Without breaking our kiss I move him against the counter.When I lift him up he slides onto the counter top breaking the kiss for only a moment.He is quickly pulling me back to him as he wraps his legs around me. I take over kissing him with so much need but not wanting to push it too fast.I am exploring his mouth with his tongue as me moans into my mouth. I am leaning against him as he locks his ankles behind me. 

I place his hands around my neck and lift him up moving both of us to the couch.I’m afraid he is going to push me away, that little bit of doubt yelling at me in the back of my mind.

I barely get sitting on the couch and he is climbing into my lap.He is kissing me with such force. Tommy’s lips tasting my lips, my neck and my ear lobes making me shudder.He moves back attacking my mouth, sliding his tongue in fighting with mine.He sucks on my tongue, pulling a moan from my throat.

~ ~ ~ ~

I wake up cursing my alarm clock for pulling me out of my dream.Finally Tommy loves me in our dreams…now if I can’t just get him to talk to me in real life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. " ~Richard Mead_
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

_ Tommy’s Dream _

I can’t find Adam.I keep trying to pull myself to him but I can’t find him.I just keep going to that tree again.My mind always takes me to that tree when I can’t find him. 

I need him with me. I miss him when he is not here.But I sleep so much now, so much more than I ever had. Because I need Adam with me and in my dreams it’s safe. 

I crawl up beneath the tree and let the tears fall. The panic and the uncertainty of when he will be back here is just too much for me sometimes. 

~ ~ ~ ~

I call up Dave on Friday night when I wake up and tell him to meet me at the bar. I have 2 shots in me before he even shows up.I feel the booze flow through my blood as I mellow out.I get nervous when I’m wake too much at night. I don’t want to miss Adam.I need him more and more every night. 

I tell Dave about my apartment. How Isaac held me hostage while Adam cleaned and redid the whole freaking thing.He tells me I should give him a chance. I’m still too scared. 

I see Kayla at the bar and feel sick.She’s wrapped around some guy almost in his lap.She looks over and flashes me a smile that could kill. 

I down another shot before leaving to go home and pass out again.

~ ~ ~ ~

My house reeks of Adam.Everywhere I look all I can think of is him.Well I guess it’s better than Kayla.

I crawl into bed grabbing a pillow and pulling it close to me.

It not long before I pass out into dreamland. 

~ ~ ~ ~ 

_ Adam’s Dream _

I find myself driving towards Tommy’s house.When I get in there everything is boxed up.He is putting the last of his DVDs in a box and turns to look at me. 

“Baby finally you are here!”

Tommy runs over pulling me down to kiss him.

“Tommy what is going on here?”

He just giggles. When he looks up in my eyes he gets a horrified look on his face.

“You don’t remember?” he mumbles.

“Tommy please, where are you going?”

Tommy wraps his arms around me hugging me tight.

“But you promised. I’m going with you. You said I could move in with you.”

I guess I don’t remember everything that happens in my dreams, because I so don’t remember this. 

“Of course you can baby. I love having you close to me.”

I pull his chin up kissing him fiercely.Slipping my tongue past his lips I pull a moan from his throat.He melts into me like he belongs there. 

We get the truck packed up and head over to my house. We have all of his stuff in the garage and we both fall onto the couch.

Tommy looks over at me with lust in his eyes and a grin on his face.He crawls across the couch until he is straddling my lap.

“Now that I’m here, I’m not letting go.”

He puts his hands behind my head pulling me towards him.He is so aggressive until i nip at his lip and he lets me take over.I move him so he is lying beneath me on the couch.I kiss him, sliding my tongue in and out until he is bucking his hips under me.I nip at his ear lobes and down his neck until he is panting with desire.

“Adam…need….”

“Not here baby, if we are doing this, we are doing it right.”

I pull him up with me and head to the bedroom.I lay him back on the bed loving the view of him lying there waiting for me. 

I take my time with him. Slowly I tease him as I move over his body, taking off his clothes as I kiss his exposed skin. Tommy is moaning and groaning as I move around him, finally tasting all of his body for myself. 

I work him open slowly as I kiss him.He is begging for more as I take my time with him.When I finally enter him it is amazing.I make love to him like I never have to anyone before. 

~ ~ ~ ~

I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. 

“Tommy?”

“Need you here Adam. Please.”

~ ~ ~ ~

When I get to Tommy’s apartment he is still asleep.I slip off my boots and climb into bed with him.He is twisting and turning around the whole bed.He calms when I wrap my arms around him. 

“Please let me back in Tommy…”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a while, you wake up in someone else's dream. " ~Richard Mead_
> 
> Tommy thought his dreams were his own until the day he realizes that he is sharing a dream world with Adam. While his real life falls apart Tommy works to stay in his dream world with the man he loves.

_ Tommy’s Dream _

“Adam?”

“Adam where did you go?”

Everything went black. 

I can’t find him anywhere. 

Why did Adam leave me….

“ADAM!”

~ ~ ~ ~

I wake up to Tommy screaming out my name.I pull him close kissing the top of his head gently.

“I’m right here baby. Shh, calm down. I’m right here Tommy.”

He snuggles back towards me whimpering my name. 

“Shh Tommy, calm down. Just relax. I’m here baby.”

I kiss his head again as I hold him close, hoping to calm him down. 

I am almost asleep when I hear him scream out my name again. Only this time he is jumping out of bed.

“What the fuck are you doing here Adam? And in my bed?”

“You called me to come here Tommy Joe. So I did.”

“I did not.”

I grab his phone finding the call at 3 am. His face is just blank when I show it to him.

“Look at me, please.”

He looks up for a moment before hiding his eyes. I walk over pinning him between me and the wall.I lift his chin up so he has to look at me.

“I am sick of this Tommy. I can’t live in a dream world.I need you here, in the real world with me. You are drinking yourself stupid just to sleep so you can dream. I am worried about you and I miss you. I’m not going to ignore it anymore. We are going to breakfast and you are going to talk. Understand?”

It’s a very quiet yes that slips past his lips, but it’s good enough for me. 

~ ~ ~ ~

I wait out in the living room while he gets ready. For once I don’t even care what I look like.All I care about is getting Tommy to talk to me. I can’t have him needing me so much in our dream world and avoiding me like I’m death in real life. 

“I’m ready.”

I look up and just smile.I missed him so much. This is the first time we have actuallytalked in so long. I almost forgot what his voice sounded like.

I hold open the door as we walk to the car.When we get in I turn to look at him before starting the engine.

“Thank you.”

We don’t talk the entire way there and that is ok. Just having him this close to me is better than nothing at all. 

I go to a quiet little place not far from Tommy’s apartment.We find a booth in the back corner where we can talk and have a little privacy.

We order our food and I wait for the waitress to leave. 

“I missed you Tommy.It’s killing me that you shut me out of your life.It’s even harder that we have a perfect world in our dreams.I just want that here in the real world where I don’t have to sleep just to have you in my arms.”

“But it hurts here. Everything is safe when I dream.”

I reach across the table grabbing his hand.

“Tommy I’m not Kayla. I’m not going anywhere. I love you. I want my friend back. And if more happens, even better. But I can’t live with just having you in my dreams.”

“But how can you say that Adam? You don’t know you are not going anywhere. Kayla fed me the same line. And look what happened?She decided I was in love with you. She decided she was leaving. And it sucked.”

“I know baby. But if you were mine I would not have given you up without a fight.”

Tommy looks up at me with a little smile on his face. 

“I missed your smile baby. Shit, I missed you. I don’t like that you shut the world out. Everyone is worried about you. I know they don’t get the dream thing like I do, but they are still worried.”

“How did it happen Adam? The dreams I mean.”

“I don’t know Tommy. I don’t regret it. Do you?”

“Not at all. But it’s just weird.”

“Yes it’s weird, but I wouldn’t change it.It was the only part of you I had.And look how perfect things are in our dream world.I wish you would give me a chance to show you how perfect I can make things for you in real life.”

“But what if…”

“I am not spending my life worrying about what if Tommy. If you live that way now you are just going to hide from something good…from me.”

“I don’t know what to do now Adam.”

“You let me date you. We take it slow and see what happens. I get my friend back and if it leads to more than even better.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Then I still have my friend.”

He looks up with a shy smile that gives me hope.


End file.
